Recently we have had several of our client's call us and stating that their spouse accused them of physical violence and the police were called to the residence. In one incident that took place this week, the client and his wife got into an argument, after the husband accused her of having an affair. She became very angry and accused him of striking her in the face. She summoned the local police and thankfully they asked the 12 year old son if he had seen the incident and the boy told the police that his father had not struck his mother. The police filled out an incident report and left without arresting our client. Another case last year, we had already caught the wife cheating, and the husband had filed for divorce. She claimed the husband pushed her down the stairs and she called the police. Again there were no bruises or abrasions on the wife to indicate she had fallen down the stairs. One of the children present told the police that she did not fall down the stairs, but only claimed it to try and get the husband arrested.
We cannot emphasize enough that confronting your spouse about cheating is a wasted effort. They will deny it no matter what you say. Do you really think they are going to admit to adultery, which will then make them look like the "bad guy" to their children, family and friends? We advise our clients to avoid a confrontation if at all possible. Nothing will be solved by getting in a heated argument about infidelity. If the spouse suspects they have been caught and especially if it is the wife, if she resorts to try and discredit the husband, she will use the accusation of physical violence towards her. She will try to have him arrested. This accomplishes several things. One, it gets him out of the house and taken to jail. It makes him look like the bad guy in this case, even though she may have been the one cheating. Now the husband is trying to protect himself from a criminal conviction and trying to prove his wife was cheating on him at the same time. It is a no win situation. Don’t get me wrong, we know there are some husbands that do relate to physical violence in these situations and we do not excuse or condone it. If they do this, then they should be arrested. However, we do not accept the fact that in today's society, most of the time law enforcement is going to error on the side of caution and arrest the husband if there is any evidence of possible physical abuse. We encourage our clients, both husband and/or wife to never be alone with the other. Make sure another person is present so it will tend to calm the situation down and also provide a witness if there is or is not any violence. Also we encourage our clients to purchase a small digital recorder and keep it with them at all times. If an argument looks like it is going to develop, turn the recorder on so you will have a recording of the conversation. Sometimes the spouse will try to entice the other one into an argument in hopes they will lose their temper and say or do something stupid. If things look like they are going to get heated, just walk away. Walk around the block or leave for a short time and cool off. Please, please don't get involved in a physical altercation with your spouse. It is not worth it and you will end up on the losing end.