Who Do We Catch More, Husbands or Wives?
Almost every time I speak to a potential or new client I get asked that question. Who cheats more, the husband or the wife? I have been working infidelity cases in the Atlanta and north Georgia areas for over 15 years. Over that period of time it usually evened out that we caught about the same percentage. However, since November 1, 2011, we have seen a dramatic change. During November and December we caught six (6) cheating wives. Almost every new case that came in, it was the husband suspecting the wife was having an affair. What is the explanation as to why the increase for wives being unfaithful? It may be too much egg nog during the holiday season. Surveys reveal several reasons for women cheating: jobs outside the home, financial independence, and changing social attitudes. Mobile phones, internet chat rooms, and email make it easier for women to make contact with their partner.
During this same time we did have a few cases come in where the wife suspected the husband/boyfriend was cheating, but only one of those was confirmed. Most cases involve the wife having an affair with a co-worker. In one case we suspected the wife met the man online in a chat room or adult web site for “hooking up”. One was a neighbor and this affair had been going on for several years. In a very recent case, the wife was having an affair with a police officer. We caught them together while the officer was working an off duty job as security for a local club. In another case the wife had been introduced to her boyfriend through her cousin. It never ceases to amaze me that the family of the cheating spouse will aid or attempt to keep the cheating discreet and the innocent spouse completely in the dark.
As I have stated in past blogs, most of our clients are very stressed, upset, angry, betrayed and embarrassed over the possible infidelity of their spouse. We try to calm them down as much as possible, but when they ask “What is the percentage rate of you catching a cheating spouse?” We tell the truth. When a spouse comes to us for help, it usually means they really suspect their spouse is cheating on them but deep down inside they are hoping we don’t find anything. However, over 95% of the time we catch the cheater.
As I was preparing this blog last night I received a request from a client to go to her husband’s place of employment to make sure he was behaving. She said he has been getting home a few hours later than usual. As I am sitting in the parking lot around 8:30 PM, I see him come out the front door and look around and then go back inside. A few minutes later a vehicle pulls into the parking lot and parks next to his vehicle. He comes out and gets in the car with the woman and due to darkness I can’t tell what is going on but I can guess. About that same time, the wife calls and wants an update. I tell her the girlfriend is here. She says she is coming over to drive by. I tell her no, but she says she is coming anyway. I tell her not to do anything stupid since I am getting video. She arrives and parks down the street and walks up to the woman’s car. Apparently the husband spots her and he jumps out of the car and runs into the building. The wife walks up to the woman’s car and get inside. Next thing I hear a lot of yelling and screaming. A few minutes later the wife gets out of the car and both women are still yelling at each other. I’m sure it was something like “You want him you can have him. No I don’t want him you keep him.” The husband during this time keeps peeking out the door to see what is going on and apparently too afraid to be confronted by his wife. Finally the wife gets out of the car and the girlfriend drives off. The wife then walks up to the front door of the building, but the husband won’t come outside. All this time I’m getting video and trying to keep the camera from shaking due to me laughing so hard. The wife finally leaves and the husband comes out and talking on his cell phone. Wonder who he is calling.
Update as of 12/31/12
We have caught 16 cheating wives and 12 cheating husbands.