We recently had a case where the husband contacted us and stated that he and his wife were in the process of getting a divorce. He stated they had already agreed to the terms regarding child support, alimony and division of property. Within the next few days, he was scheduled to sign the papers, but he had a gut feeling something was not right. He requested us to conduct surveillance on her. Within in just a few days, we had confirmed his suspicions, she was having an affair with her personal trainer from the gym where she worked out. We then continued surveillance and documented her spending the night with the boyfriend at his apartment. With this evidence this changed the entire situation. Unfortunately the client called his wife immediately after we updated him and informed her he had hired us and we had video documentation of the affair. The wife became furious. We had warned the client not to do this, but to no avail. Within 24 hours his wife after doing some serious thinking realized she was now on the defense and was in a very compromising position. She called her husband and told him she wanted to reconcile. The client called us and his attorney and both of us told him not to do this right now. We thought she was “playing him”. We explained to him that if they have sex after he has been informed of the affair, under the law he is forgiving his wife for the adultery. He assured us they would go slow and not have sex. They got together that night and she spent the night with him. She left the next morning and within a few hours called him on the phone and told him she had changed her mind and wanted to proceed with the divorce. By the clients bad decision he made all of our evidence null and void not to mention the money he wasted paying for our services.
Our position is that if you can save your marriage, by all means do everything you can to do that, especially if children are involved. Our advice is to take it slow and make sure the reconciliation offer is sincere. Seek professional counseling and if it works out great. But be very careful if you have documented evidence of an illicit affair that you can use in court, DON’T THINK WITH THE WRONG HEAD!